A New Look at Teen Pregnancy

Dear MrsM-My daughter is 12 years old and I think it’s time for the sex talk.  You know, the one that’s more than where babies come from…that OTHER one.  I don’t know what to say-I don’t want to encourage her having sex by talking to her birth control, but I don’t want to say nothing and then end up with a pregnant teenager.  With so many pregnant teenagers running around I am scared that my daughter will become one of them.  What should I do?

Your instincts are in the right place-you SHOULD be talking to her and 12 is right about the right age-it’s early enough (for most kids) but not so early that she won’t understand.

Talking about sex itself is important, but make sure to tell her about the emotional and mental parts that lead up to and happen during sex (what it’s like to think you’re in love with someone, what it’s like to feel like you want to have sex) along with all of the technical details.  Also make sure to emphasise the responsibility one takes by having sex (understanding that no matter what form of birth control you use, every single time you have sex you have a chance of getting pregnant-a HUGE responsibility).

Which brings me to this-make sure to talk to her about birth control.  I know it’s a scary idea, because it’s like admitting that someday your daughter will have sex.  The truth is though, that she will eventually just like you did.  Statistically speaking well over half of teenagers lose their virginity before they graduate high school.  (Think about when you lost YOURS…how old were you?  Were you married?  If you are like most people, then the answers are not the same answers you’d like to hear from your daughter.)  Teaching her about birth control will prepare her to protect herself against pregnancy and STDs…whenever that time comes.

To help you understand that talking about, and even giving your child, birth control are not going to encourage her to have sex and make babies think about this.  According to the US Census the highest teen birth rate in the last 65 years (since they started recording teen birth rates) was in 1991….in the aftermath of Nancy Regan’s “Just Say No” campaign.  The census also tells us that by 2005 (after sex ed and condoms entered the public school system) the teen birth rate went down by 35% making 2005 the year with the LOWEST teen birth rate in 65 years.  Yes, there were fewer teens giving birth in 2005 then there were in 1945.

And, to the surprize of many I’m sure, the cause of the lower birth rate was actually NOTabortions.  In fact, according to the CDCs statistics, after it’s peak in 1983 (when the teen abortion rate was at 30.7%) the abortion rate among teenagers has been steadily declining.  It decreased by more than half to 14.5% by 2000-with the collected research so far showing that 2005’s national teen abortion rates could have been as low as 8-9%.

So, by far, fewer teenagers are having babies and fewer teenagers are having abortions…but just as many teenagers are having sex.  The only logical conclusion for this is that teaching teens about birth control is preventing teen pregnancies.  I am absolutely not saying not to advocate abstinence to your daughter-abstinence is a worthy goal….that most people fall short of.  Just in case your daughter is like the rest of us, teach her how to protect herself!

It might keep you from becoming a grandma before you retire.