Nosy Strangers

Dear MrsM-I am a young mother of four beautiful children. We gave birth to our
4th child when we were just 23yrs old. Two of our children are also
autistic. Whenever I take my children into public, I get the rudest people and
comments about my children! The latest was a woman yelling at me for
not having any shoes or socks on my 25mnth old who is autistic and won’t
leave anything on his feet. I have begun reporting rude employees to
the managers, but what should I say or do to regular customers. I try
being nice and explaining that my children have autism, or that no, I am
NOT too young to have four kids, but in all reality I want to tell
them to mind their own damn business. Is it improper of me to tell
someone to mind their own business, or should I just grin while I imagine
letting my 5yr old autistic daughter bite them?

While you may have (completely understandable and hilarious) visions of child bitten strangers who leave you alone, that’s probably not a good idea…you don’t know where that person has been!

Seriously though-it is absolutely appropriate for you to tell people to mind their own business. How you do it is up to you. I would probably reserve the cursing for people that cross your boundaries in a major way. You could be just as effective by looking at the offending person and firmly saying “I’m sorry, do I know you?” Or, if they direct their snobbery at your children, simply ignore the stranger, look directly at your child, and say “Oh honey-remember we don’t talk to strangers” and then walking away.

Unfortunately people, even people who don’t know you, will enjoy judging you because that is the nature of a lot of people. They like to condemn others-young parents and parents with a lot of children are frequent and popular targets-so that they can feel superior and knowledgable, without even bothering to imagine that what they think is crazy (having lots of children or having them young) actually makes you happy. The good news is that you don’t have to take these people home with you and, since they are strangers, you will probably never have to see them again.